The amount of unbridled, unfettered sex in the Olympic village every four years is the worst-kept secret in sports. Over the years dozens of athletes have talked about their micro-targeted Tinder radiuses, the hormones coursing through the village, and the thousands of hookups that lead to more international relations that the U.N.
Paris, the city of love, is bringing back Olympic boning in a big, big way — with a frankly alarming 300,000 condom order for those competing in 2024.
This comes after Tokyo 2020 was largely devoid of athlete sex. The games, held during the Covid pandemic, dissuaded athletes from hooking up by instituting strong six foot separation rules in the Olympic village, and even going so far as to assembled special collapsable cardboard beds that wouldn’t allow two people in them.
In Tokyo organizers did offer 150,000 condoms to athletes, but said they were intended to be brought back to their home countries to spread HIV awareness, rather to be used while in Tokyo.
That changes in Paris. Everyone is well aware of how buckwild things could get and are doubling the condom order, while ensuring athletes know that the central location of the Olympic village will ensure athletes can get absolutely blasted when they’re done completing.
Michaud said they want the athletes in Paris to have everything they need in the village, so they built a sports bar – but there will be no alcohol. “But it’s going to be a great place so they can share their moment and the environment here,” he said. “No champagne in the village, of course, but they can have all the champagne they want to in Paris.”
Oh yeah, just thousands of the most athletic human bodies on the planet, all sharing one giant dorm in the middle of Paris. Massive nights of drinking before returning to their rooms which are stocked with hundreds of thousands of condoms.
There is going to be just an unfathomable amount of sex.
