Wednesday, November 27, 2024
HomeCyclingYou Axed For It… – Bike Snob NYC

You Axed For It… – Bike Snob NYC


While this is ostensibly a bike blog, since 2010 I’ve really been focused on one thing, and that’s chronicling Best Made Co., a brand created by a guy who bought axes, painted the handles, and sold them to complete idiots for twice the price:

I admit I was captivated by Peter Buchanan-Smith immediately, because he is the embodiment of a deeply pretentious lifestyle and worldview I find exquisitely annoying:

So over the ensuing years I became his number one fan and de facto biographer. I was there for the triumphant moments, like when Specialized launched the Diverge at Best Made’s grossly overpriced designer scout store in Tribeca:

[“Hey, do you like bikes? Do you have a first name that’s usually a last name? Do you have an artfully curated basket bike locked up outside? Holy shit, me too!”]

And I was also there for the lows, like when Best Made finally had to close down or whatever:

[Best Made fall down get boo-boo.]

This was a crushing blow to effete urbanites everywhere, because now if they wanted stuff like axes and first aid kits they’d be forced to pay reasonable prices for them.

By the way, that last post I just linked to included steamy photos of my erstwhile Litespeed taking a shower, and I admit I found myself lingering over them for a little too long:

You know what? I’m not so sure I should have gotten rid of that bike.

In any case, despite having made following Best Made my life’s work, I completely missed that Buchanan-Smith has since bought the name back from the suckers who bought it and is resurrecting the brand:

I don’t know much about design, but one thing I do know is that the very best branding evokes fascism. Those Rapha armbands…

All those band logos with their iron crosses and umlauts and runes or whatever…

And of course Best Made’s big bold X logo, which here makes Buchanan-Smith look like a hipster dictator, or perhaps an angry butterfly:

So what is Der Bedäzzler going to do next? Well, you know it’s going to be something “relevant:”

Not like an actual product, mind you–instead, it’s going to be a “mindset,” which makes sense because nobody ever used their stuff anyway:

Frankly I can’t imagine a better brand to launch a new gravel race:

But their brief dalliance with Specialized notwithstanding, Best Made seems to appeal to that subset of rural gentrifiers who don’t particularly care for bikes and instead pay lots of money for refurbished Broncos and Defenders:

Whilst virtually indistinguishable to the casual observer, there’s a clear line of demarcation in the aging hipster community between bike people and non-bike people; visit Hudson, NY for example (it’s like Best Made built a whole city) and you won’t see a single bike anywhere, not even a Budnitz.

Anyway, throughout the history of this great nation, innovators have taken brilliant ideas and proceeded to build companies around them. Then there’s Buchanan-Smith, who has made a company that exists for no other reason but to be a company. See, the product isn’t the point, because Best Made isn’t about fulfilling a need or making your life better in any way. Sure, it sells stuff as part of the LARP, but nobody actually uses it:

Because it’s not about the product, it’s about the “how:”

I’d argue the real question is, “What the hell does that mean?”

But whatever they start selling, you can be sure it will have “emotional durability:”

That’s a concept they came up with during a meeting at the company that existed only to be a company and have meetings about being a company:

Holy shit, I think I figured out what the new product is going to be!

By the way, if you can’t find the emotion in a pair of pants you’re not looking hard enough. I’d check that fifth pocket.

RELATED ARTICLES

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Most Popular

Recent Comments