If, like me, you’re a parent who enjoys a fancy dinner out while traveling, you have no doubt faced this dilemma: either leave the kids in a hotel with a babysitter you’ve only just met, or schlep them along. I’m here to advocate for the schlep. And that’s despite the fact that my two children aren’t the best companions at a pricey multicourse meal.
My wife and I choose to live on this edge because, sometimes, we can’t miss a certain restaurant. Sure, the artistry behind a perfectly plated dish may be lost on our little ones, but my five-year-old still talks about a “gelato cake with a cherry” from one of the many Roman trattorias we dined in last year. I’ll admit I have no recollection of that particular dessert, but I’m grateful that she will remember it forever.
Now that our kids have met more sommeliers than the average elementary schooler, here are a few of the lessons we’ve learned — and some tips from other parents — on making the most of eating out while traveling.
Rethink big-city dining.
Not long ago, restaurants in major European capitals had a reputation for being very kid-friendly, says Daniella Hunt, an American who runs Mirabilia Urbis Tours in Rome. These days? “Many restaurants here have gotten clinically precise about getting you in and out,” Hunt says of the new no-lingering paradigm. Instead, she recommends saving those big nights out for when you visit smaller cities — places like Orvieto or Trieste — where restaurants still dote over young children.
Skip the kids’ menu.
North Carolina’s High Hampton Resort is one of a growing number of venues scrapping this old-fashioned concept. Executive chef Scott Franqueza puts forth a more thoughtful “family menu,” with elevated versions of classic dishes. The chicken tenders are brined and soaked in buttermilk; for the fish-and-chips, he uses the day’s catch, whether that’s grouper, snapper, or wahoo. “When a parent takes a bite to see if a dish is too hot,” Franqueza says, “we want them to want another.”
Dress (and act) the part.
Even the simple step of putting on a dress or a collared shirt can help signal to children that a meal out is a special experience — and calls for special behavior. For our family, preparation also includes grabbing a couple of fresh coloring books and having a well-timed pre-dinner snack. (We also make a point of visiting the bathroom upon arrival, so everyone can enjoy sitting down together.)
Once in our seats, there’s a quick discussion about what might happen if someone crawled under the table and pulled on a tablecloth. Laughs ensue about the potential chaos, but the point is made.
Find middle ground on phones.
Many families turn to screen time as a way to find peace at mealtime. But Rick Simone, the president of Federal Hill Commerce Association, in Providence, Rhode Island, has reached a compromise with his four kids. When at a restaurant, he’s okay with the kids using their phones until the meal arrives. “But as soon as the food drops,” Simone says, “everybody automatically knows it’s time to put phones away.”
Rethink menu speak.
For us, creative rewording goes a long way. Our son loves soup, so at a restaurant, we might pitch him on a root-vegetable curry by calling it “coconut carrot soup.” Or, we might say that butternut squash is “basically a sweet potato” to encourage him to try something new.
Don’t forget.
A few little things can make a big impact: a crumb-catching bib for toddlers was a lifesaver for us when our kids were younger. These days, we ask for a corner table — or even better, one on a patio — where our family can have more room and avoid any tsk-tsk glances from other diners.
A version of this story first appeared in the September 2024 issue of Travel + Leisure under the headline “How to Actually Enjoy Dining Out with Kids.”