Neediness is humanness. Separateness is at odds with our biology. There is nothing wrong with having needs or with our children having needs, but not all of them can and must be met to nurture well-adjusted and loving children. It’s about how we interact with the needs that impact our relationships. If there is not enough of you (your needs, your feelings) in your relationship with your kids, then you are in essence taking yourself out of the connection and ultimately teaching them to do the same. Saying “I matter too,” which isn’t the same as “I matter more”—might actually strengthen, rather than harm, your bond.
