The Power of Self-Love: Why You Need to Love Yourself First (And How Faith Can Help You Do It)
When was the last time you looked in the mirror and said, I love you? Not just in a casual, offhand way—but really looked yourself in the eyes and meant it?
For many people, the answer is never.
And that’s heartbreaking.
Because loving yourself isn’t just about feeling good—it’s about survival. It’s about health. It’s about making sure you’re not constantly at war with yourself, wearing yourself down until your body and mind give out.
Not loving yourself isn’t just a mental or emotional issue. It affects your physical health in ways you might not even realize. Stress, anxiety, burnout, and even weakened immunity—these are just a few of the ways self-neglect can show up in your body.
Let’s talk about why loving yourself is absolutely non-negotiable—and how your faith in God can help you do it.
What Happens When You Don’t Love Yourself?
It’s easy to think of self-love as just some fluffy, feel-good concept. But the truth is, not loving yourself has real consequences—both mentally and physically.
Here’s how a lack of self-love can lead to sickness:
1. Chronic Stress & Anxiety
When you constantly criticize yourself, compare yourself to others, or feel like you’re not enough, your body stays in a state of stress. Stress releases cortisol, the hormone responsible for the “fight or flight” response.
A little stress is normal. But when it becomes chronic—when you’re constantly feeling inadequate, guilty, or ashamed—your cortisol levels stay high, and your body suffers. You might experience:
• Frequent headaches
• Muscle tension or body aches
• Insomnia or exhaustion
• Digestive problems
• Heart issues (high blood pressure, increased risk of heart disease)
2. Weakened Immune System
Did you know that negative self-talk and self-hatred can actually weaken your immune system? Studies have shown that people who experience high levels of stress, depression, and self-criticism are more likely to get sick.
If you’re always running on empty—never prioritizing yourself, never speaking kindly to yourself—you’re more vulnerable to colds, infections, and even chronic illnesses.
3. Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
When we don’t love ourselves, we often turn to unhealthy habits to numb the pain. Overeating, binge drinking, smoking, overworking, and toxic relationships—these are all ways people try to fill the void when they don’t feel worthy of love.
The problem? These behaviors only make things worse. They don’t fix the underlying issue.
What Does It Mean to Truly Love Yourself?
Self-love isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days (although those are great, too). It’s about how you treat yourself daily—how you think about yourself, how you speak to yourself, and how you show up for yourself.
Here are some real, everyday ways to practice self-love:
1. Speaking Kindly to Yourself
Would you ever tell your best friend, “You’re so stupid. You’ll never be good enough”? No? Then why do you say those things to yourself?
Loving yourself means changing the conversation in your head. Start replacing negative self-talk with kindness:
• Instead of “I’m such a failure,” say “I’m learning and growing.”
• Instead of “I hate my body,” say “I appreciate my body for carrying me through life.”
• Instead of “I’ll never be enough,” say “I am worthy just as I am.”
How Christian Faith Helps Us Love Ourselves
One of the biggest misconceptions about self-love—especially in Christian circles—is that it’s selfish. That if you love yourself too much, you’ll become prideful or self-centered.
But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
God Himself calls us to love ourselves. In Mark 12:31, Jesus says, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” That means we can’t love others well unless we first love ourselves.
1. Knowing Your Worth in Christ
One of the biggest reasons people struggle with self-love is that they don’t feel worthy. They feel like they’re not enough—not smart enough, not attractive enough, not successful enough.
But here’s the truth: Your worth isn’t based on what you do—it’s based on who God says you are.
• You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
• You are chosen and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12)
• You are created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27)
If the Creator of the universe sees you as worthy, valuable, and loved—who are you to say otherwise?
2. Setting Boundaries
Self-love means not letting people drain you. If someone constantly makes you feel bad about yourself, it’s okay to step away. If your job is destroying your mental health, it’s okay to look for something better.
Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re necessary. You don’t have to be available to everyone all the time. Protect your peace.
3. Letting Go of Shame & Guilt
Many of us carry shame from our past mistakes. We replay old failures in our heads and convince ourselves that we’re beyond redemption.
But that’s not what God wants for us.
Romans 8:1 reminds us: “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
God has already forgiven you. The question is—will you forgive yourself?
4. Treating Your Body as a Temple
Loving yourself means caring for your body, mind, and soul—because they belong to God.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.”
That means:
• Eating nourishing foods
• Getting enough rest
• Avoiding toxic influences
• Speaking words of life over yourself
Self-care isn’t just about you—it’s about honoring the body God gave you.
5. Finding Rest in God’s Love
When you’re constantly striving for perfection, always trying to be enough, it’s exhausting. But God never asked us to carry that burden alone.
Jesus says in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Sometimes, loving yourself means letting go and trusting God. It means surrendering the need to be perfect and embracing the grace He freely gives.
You Deserve Your Own Love—And God Says So
At the end of the day, the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself and with God.
God doesn’t want you to hate yourself. He doesn’t want you to walk through life feeling unworthy or not enough. He created you in His image, and He calls you loved, chosen, and precious.
So, don’t make yourself your worst enemy.
Be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself. Love yourself.
And if you haven’t already—go look in the mirror and say it:
“I love you. And more importantly, God loves me.”
Because you deserve to hear it. And you deserve to believe it. ❤️
