Welcome to the Struggle Bus

Welcome to Day 3 – Emotional & Physical Breakdown Edition:

You may be experiencing one or all of the following symptoms:

• Questioning your life choices – and everyone else’s. “Who even invented carbs, and why do they taste so good?”
• Beef fatigue. “If I see one more ground beef crumble, I will cry real tears.”
• Butter obsession. “Fighting a strong impulse to start hoarding butter at Costco like some people buy toilet paper, because I’m terrified that I won’t survive the week if I run out”
• Extreme clarity. “I now fully understand why toddlers throw tantrums over food. I mean, I GET IT. 😭”
• Mood swings you don’t recognize. “One minute I love beef, the next I want to fight it in a parking lot.”
• Resentment toward non-fasters. “Oh, you’re just casually eating a salad? 🥗 Must be nice, Susan.”
• Sudden, irrational cravings for foods you don’t even like. “I don’t even LIKE bran muffins, but if someone handed me one right now, I’d marry them.” 💘
• The existential crisis of eating the same thing over and over. “Is this my life now? Am I just a person who eats beef and stares into the void?”
• Unprovoked hostility toward innocent bystanders. “If (insert family member or lunchroom co-worker’s name here 😂) doesn’t stop chewing like a farm animal, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.”

THIS JUST IN: “Local Beef & Butter Faster Faces Charges After Butter Knife Incident—Claims Victim Was ‘Chewing Too Loudly’”

• If you feel personally attacked by someone’s chewing today, you’re not alone.
• If even thinking about another plain beef patty makes you want to cry, I see you.
• If you’re considering filing a noise complaint against your spouse’s soup slurping, just know… it’s temporary.

Put down the butter knife. Walk away. No one needs to be explaining Day 3 beef rage in court.

The Good News?

This is temporary. Your body is adjusting, your energy will bounce back, and soon, you’ll be thriving on fat-fueled power. But for now?

🥩 Eat the beef.
🧈 Drown it in butter.
😤 Avoid humans.
🚫 And if someone chews near you—breathe. Prison food isn’t beef & butter compliant.

In spite of how lousy you might feel right now, remember that you’re not broken—you’re upgrading. 💪🏻🔥

🛠️ Practical Tips to Push Through it:

✅ Season like your life depends on it. Salt, smoked salt, truffle salt—possibly sneak in some paprika or rosemary. If you need to change it up a little to stay on this fast, a teaspoon of herbs is a small price to pay! Just don’t go overboard!
✅ Try different textures. Crunchy beef? Smashed burger? Butter-seared steak? If your brain is bored, trick it with a new take on beef.
✅ Hydrate & salt up. If you feel sluggish or cranky, you might just need electrolytes—add salt to water or sip some broth.

I used a little magnesium citrate powder and “nu salt” potassium in my water yesterday – my headache was gone in 20 minutes and I had a new lease on life. I also slept great last night! Don’t skip the electrolytes – you can avoid needless extra suffering (I mean we are suffering enough already. 😆)
✅ Don’t skimp on butter. More fat = more satiety = less whining (from you and your stomach). You may be able to cut back as the week goes on, but TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY.
✅ Visualize your success. Day 5 You is laughing at Day 3 You for being dramatic. Push through—victory is near.

Remember: You didn’t come this far just to quit before the benefits kick in. 

Stay strong – keep buttering. And if all else fails, season that beef like it owes you money. 🥩💰😂