At the beginning of 2025, the former US Surgeon General issued an advisory on the link between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. While this is a sobering call to action, there is no denying that sober curiosity has increased recently. From Dry January to more brands creating alcohol-free beverages to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now more than ever even casual drinkers are becoming sober curious and examining their relationship with alcohol.
Last year in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founder of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. Today we are continuing this conversation with Krysty. Dry January has passed but certainly not the questions about what we can do if we are thinking about a sober (completely alcohol free), or damp (a reduction in alcohol consumption), life.
Tam: Should we approach drinking as all or nothing, especially if we’re sober curious?
Krysty: I think it’s a very personal decision, but if you’re any kind of a regular drinker (meaning three or four nights a week “just to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way you feel – mentally, emotionally, and physically – your body just doesn’t know there’s another way. If you’re not drinking during the week, but then drinking a couple of bottles of wine over the weekend, you never really get the chance to see how your body and mind reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of choice for at least four weeks gives clarifying behaviors. Insight that simply is not possible while we continue to use.” In other words, you have no idea how shitty you really feel when you’re using a substance that’s making you feel shitty. It usually takes a few weeks for your body to adjust to the fact that you’re no longer consuming a toxic substance.
Tam: Are there considerations/best practices to go from Dry January to more of a Damp February and beyond?
Krysty: So, I don’t really know the answer to that question, it really depends on what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to just see if you could make it without drinking for 30 days? Or were you looking for real health benefits? Or did you realize that your drinking has increased over the past few years and you know you needed to take a break?
Moderation, which is really what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for a lot of people. If you spend a lot of time bargaining with yourself whenever alcohol is involved, which leads to a lot of “rules” around your drinking, you might want to take a step back.
You might not even be aware of these rules. They’ve just become part of your inner chatter. That chatter might sound like this:
I’m not going to drink by myself.
No drinking before 5:00 p.m.
No hard alcohol during the week
I’m only going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, etc.)
I can’t have more than two drinks on a week night.
I can’t drink more than two nights in a row.
The end days of my drinking were filled with elaborate and arcane rules that were constantly shifting as I broke one after another. I was letting myself down daily, and that kind of self-disappointment was like a constant stream of micro-cuts to my soul.
Take a moment and think about why you’re putting so many rules around your drinking. You might just decide that it’s no longer worth it.
Tam: If someone is reading this thinking “I do not have a problem with my alcohol consumption but want to take a more mindful approach to what I eat/drink,” what questions should be explored when thinking about alcohol consumption?
Krysty: One of the first things we need to do is move away from the language around drinking and the belief that there are “problem drinkers” and then everyone else. This leads to shame, stigma, and judgement.
A much more useful, and realistic, model to use when it comes to talking about alcohol is the idea of drinking occurring on a spectrum. That is where the idea of “gray area drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everyone from the every-now-and-then drinker to those who are physically addicted to alcohol. The beauty of this model is that you don’t need to hit any sort of a rock bottom before you can explore your relationship with alcohol, you get to decide at any point on the spectrum what is right for you.
If you’re ready to get honest with the role alcohol plays in your life, I would suggest sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the following questions. Get curious about yourself, and take the time to answer honestly. Don’t cloud your responses with shame, or judgement, or what your bestie is going to think. This is about you and the one life that you have, and whether or not you want a toxic substance to play a role in the creation of that life.
Is alcohol still working for me?
How is alcohol making me feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does drinking align with the person I am now?
What would “future you” tell “present you” in this situation?
Tam: What if our friends have gone back to drinking after Dry January, but we are trying to continue. Do you have suggestions/recommendations for how to make this part of my lifestyle with my drinking friends?
Krysty: You might need to find new friends – haha. But, seriously, if your friends truly respect and support you in the decisions you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be a problem. But, if they’re continually trying to push you to start drinking again, whining that you’re not fun anymore, or that one shot of tequila won’t do any harm, then you might need to reconsider who you’re spending time with. You need to figure out for yourself what you want to do with the time that you have, and the people you spend it with.
Additionally, if your friend group is heavily immersed in drinking culture – meaning most social activities revolve around alcohol – then you might need to find some new peeps that like to do different things.
Tam: Any favorite “drink” hacks to replace that Friday night cocktail?
Krysty: I am the most basic sober person around – and I’m happy with drinking a seltzer on my couch to unwind after a busy week. But, I know that people have different needs, and I get that in the early days of going alcohol-free you might want something a little more exciting. Luckily, the alcohol-free market is on fire! There are so many products on the market – think flavored seltzers, sparkling teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I really could go on and on. I am continually impressed at the places where I find alcohol-free drinks – Target, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, regular grocery stores, and local alcohol-free bottle shops are starting to offer such a wide variety. My only caution is be intentional when using alcohol-free products, especially things like alcohol-free wine or beer. If you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s kind of like ripping off one bandage and putting on another, and you might want to explore why you’re stuck in the same behaviors.
Did you do Dry January this year and maintain a dry or damp February? What is your sober curious hack? ~ Tam
